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Marriage for One?

by Larry Spargimino

We fondly remember the time when marriage was the union of two people—a man and a woman. One of the purposes of that union was to bring a godly seed into the world. That was something that was a bedrock truth, a verity above refutation. Not anymore.

In June 2015, the United States Supreme Court gave a radically new definition of marriage: a union of two people of the same sex. But there is now a new lifestyle choice: sologamy. Actually, it’s been around for about 20 years. What is sologamy? It is the marriage of someone to one’s own self. The his- or her-ness is not necessary, nor is it relevant—although it is mainly women who are entering into such sologamist relationships.

Social commentator Bethany Blankley penned a provocative report in Charisma Magazine, and she writes: “Lifestyle choices reflect more than an individual’s personal choice. They have eternal consequences.”

The first person to marry herself to herself was Linda Baker in December 1993. Another pioneering sologamist was Sarah Sharp, who wrote about her marriage to herself in the volume, A Dress, A Ring, Promises to Self. Last January, the Houston Chronicle reported that Yasmin Eleby married herself at the Houston Museum of African-American Culture. It was a lavish ceremony with ten bridesmaids in attendance, plus family and other guests on hand to celebrate the strange event. The ceremony was illegal, and was not recognized by the state of Texas nor the U.S. federal government.

Anyone want to guess when sologamy will become legal?

Yasmin Eleby’s sister performed the ceremony, and Yasmin went on a honeymoon with herself to Cambodia, Laos, and a jazz festival in Dubai. Hopefully Yasmin and herself had a pleasant honeymoon.

All kidding aside, sologamy is gaining in popularity. CNN’s Anderson Cooper interviewed a North Dakota woman, Nadine Schweigert, who married herself in front of roughly 45 close friends and family. Listen to her vows, and I quote them: “I, Nadine,” she said this to herself, “promise to enjoy inhabiting my own life and to relish a lifelong love affair with my beautiful self.”

There was also a Dutch woman, Jennifer Hoes, who married herself. The story was posted in Aeon Magazine. Stylist Magazine describe the self-marriage of a British woman, Sophie Tanner. She married herself last year in a ceremony performed by her friend at a Unitarian Church. How did Sophie feel about marrying herself? “I got married to myself; I was ridiculously happy and the vibe was amazing,” she wrote. Vice Magazine reports that Tanner reported that her love of herself grew and grew after she married herself. She describes her experience with herself in the following way: “In the honeymoon period there was a change. I was more, ‘You know what? We’re going to have a night in together.’ There was a sense of treating yourself and indulging. People ask if I want to get married and I can say, ‘Actually, I’m already married to myself.’ You don’t have to worry any more. You’re not waiting around for the one because you are the one. You’ve found that person.”

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